Expressing Emotions During Difficult Times
Written by Casille Kristol, LAC
It is important to acknowledge what can trigger big emotions. Words, events, and even people can remind us of a time that we felt big emotions that hurt us. Triggers are fragmented parts of ourselves that did not have the opportunity to grow up due to trauma and pain. Emotionally, they are parts that are still small and undeveloped. This means that big emotions like misplaced jealousy or anger have caused those parts of us to not grow up all the way. This makes handling stressful events more difficult for some than others. But through emotional growth, we can allow those fragmented parts to grow and reintegrate them. And as we grow we can let go of maladaptive coping mechanisms (like “checking out”, over eating, over drinking, self-isolation) and learn to cope in more helpful ways.
A quick way to acknowledge emotion is to:
Name the emotion
Ask “where do I feel it in my body”
Verbalizing the emotion “I feel __”
Express the emotion in a healthy way (dance, shake, jump, cry, wail, etc)
Self-soothe and return to baseline.
You are completely entitled to your feelings. You are allowed to feel everything you want to feel. Your feelings are your own. However, you are not entitled to make everyone else feel your feelings. If you need to cry, you can cry but you do not need to hurt or disturb or project onto someone else so they feel your feelings too.
And as a reminder:
Asking for help is not a sign of weakness
It is okay to cry
There is no right or wrong way to feel – but don’t force your feelings on others
Take time to rest, recuperate, and process it all
Everything is “figure-outable”
We will get through this.
Some days are more difficult than others, and it can feel overwhelming when it all appears to be happening at once. You are capable and you can make it through. Sending you all big hugs and butterfly kisses.