Pockets of Silence
Written by Jen Shifler
Is silence plus a bit of solitude obligatory for Self-Discovery? Well, it just might be worth pondering. I’m not talking about taking a 10-day silent retreat or exploring the depths of quiet, dark, caves alone.
Turns out, our silent time, sitting in our swirling thoughts is just as important, if not equally important as our juicy moments of connecting with others by conveying information about our ideas and evoking understanding in others.
As I write it’s definitely through my own experiences, however, one thing that I know for sure is that this life thing is not meant to be had alone. We need each other to thrive, to grow, to learn, and connect. In fact, scientists are proving that the physical shape of the heart changes through human connection. That connection happens through communicating with others, listening to several perspectives, laughing, planning, playing, supporting local communities, or finding a way to make even the smallest contribution to another, such as a smile, note, or picture.
I think that most would find these ways of connection to be meaningful and true and I also see that it is key to ask ourselves if we find our quiet time as a hindrance or helpful. Well, it seems many experts say that creating comfortable quiet time is crucial to our physical and mental health as long as we can allow ourselves to feel safe in little pockets of silence.
Many humans alike carry boatloads of a not-so-safe-inner dialogue that is often unlocked by a familiar friend called- anxiousness. We’re all familiar with anxiousness and maybe even the sensations that show up with it, like tension and racing thoughts. And so it's crucial to remind ourselves that the not-so-comforting inner dialogue that tends to show itself might need some hushing when trying to reap the benefits of some quality silent time.
If solitude is an uncommon practice for you, first notice if your mind tends to implant the idea that our quiet is unsettling. If it is sending such a message, it’s helpful to offer ourselves the simple yet sweet gesture of self-talk. If you have children, share with them that you are “Taking some quiet time” or take it together and allow them to hear yourself talking, with YOU.
Then...
1. Set aside as little as 3 quiet minutes or more, while seated or standing.
2. Silent your notifications and turn music or any other sounds off.
3. Begin with these two simple statements (aloud)
“There is nothing that I have to do right now.”
“I am safe in this moment.”
4. Take some extended exhales to a count of 6, 7, or 8, and then inhale through your nose. Repeat 5 more times.
5. Notice your thoughts come and go.
6. If needed, repeat the statements above.
Our imaginations can adjust the way we feel in both negative and positive light and vice versa;
The way we feel can adjust our imaginations. So the more time you take to feel comfort in your silence, the more positive imaginations will transform and the clearer you’ll become in your savory human connections and experiences.