A Mother's Story of Hope
Written by: Jessica Landfair
When I was asked about my grief journey my first thought was it is definitely that, a journey. A journey of which I will never arrive at the destination of. Jaxon passed away almost 4 years ago. Sometimes it seems like it was just the other day and sometimes it seems like he has been gone for an eternity. I remember the pain being so strong that it seemed unbearable. Day and night I was a prisoner to my mind as it raced and replayed situations and conversations over and over in my head. I remember reading somewhere that the only reason we could hurt so deeply was because we loved him so deeply. That helped soothe my heart some.
Jaxon had used his Make-a-Wish to create a scholarship for another student to go into Law Enforcement because that was his intention as well. As a family we honor Jaxon’s original Wish and continue to raise money and give it to other students pursuing the career that Jaxon intended to do. This has been a great way to focus our grief and keep Jaxon’s legacy alive.
The reality is I don’t think I will ever “get past” the loss of my son, nor do I want to. Our lives are rebuilt around our loss. Though it feels like some healing has taken place, the hole that he left in our family and in our lives will never be filled. I am always learning and trying to give myself grace on the days that are still difficult.
OUR COMFORT AND CARE COUNSELING SERVICES ARE AVAILABLE FOR grieving family members IN ORDER TO PROVIDE THEM WITH THE CARE AND SUPPORT THEY NEED TO WORK THROUGH DIFFICULT TIMES.
more resources for bereaving families
Books
When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Harold Kushner
Good Grief by Granger E. Westberg
How to go on Living When Someone you love Died by Theresa Rando
Angel Catcher by Kathy Eldon
Blue Nights by Joan Didion
Support Groups
Griefshare.org (faith based)
Compassionatefriends.org
Hov.org-support for adults/children
Phoenixchildrens.org/bereavementsupport